Leaves, Hunger and saying goodbye

Something hit me today.

Yesterday was a day full of yard work and hunger.   A hunger so intense I had a good long think.  Yes, think.

I was on day 6 of the Opti Fast and I was hungry.  This was real hunger not the bored  hungry.  I am on this Opti liver diet for 3 weeks.  Longer then others.  I am not sure why but I give it to the Doctors to know what they are doing.  Three weeks of chocolate special shakes full of goods and vitamins, some times a cup of raw veggies and lots of clear liquid drinks.  Teas, Vitamin water zero, water of course and broths.

While outside raking the lives as my daughter piled them into bags it hit me.  In that moment I realized I will never have a normal meal again.  Yes, I knew this before and yes, I will have lots of food options later in smaller amounts but.. it hit me.  After this Opti fast I cannot go and have a big spaghetti dinner, or bowl of cream chip beef.   There was no more…  I am going to go and sit down to a big bowl of cheddar broccoli soup when I am done these leaves.   Something sunk in, a kind of sadness.  I used to look forward to meals and my warm foods.  Eating till I was full and feeling good.  It is a addiction and know many people would debate that statement but for me it was.  Although, I have not felt poorly surprisingly but I do miss pulled pork sandwiches and hoagies.  After a stressful day I would enjoy having a warm meal.  I would not eat a lot but I looked forward to it.  I think I have said that a few times but I am trying to get across that I will miss it.

Some people after they have weight loss surgery they no longer feel hunger which would make is easier.  Some people need to measure out there food as well.  Some people can feel full after 2 bites.  I look forward to one of or all of these stages.  I hope I get to the point where I have to remind myself to eat.  Yesterday I read about a kind lady who is having much success but she hates to eat.  After yesterday afternoon I look forward to that.  Because right now I feel like I am morning as silly as that is.  Saying goodbye to a good/bad friend.

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