Rome was not built in a Day.

So I needed a focus and I joined Fit4Less.  Other then the smell of sweaty bodies I like it a lot.  I have been two days and I am very sore but it is a wonderful sore.

I was terrified to go in at first.  Like many large people we fear judgement.  Will every one wonder what I am doing there?  They should know by looking at me.  I hope they are proud of me instead of mock me.  I hope no one pays attention to the way my body jiggles like jello when I am using the machines.  I hope they can see a person who cares about their health and has decided to do something and not someone who has ignored their health for years.   Please just let them be nice to me.

So far I have not hear one comment or thing said.  Here is hoping it stays that way.

The first day I put on some black yoga pants and a temperature cool shirt that is a thin nylon material and started with the elliptical.  Wow, these are harder then I remember them being 10 years ago.  I managed to work my way through 5 minutes, a quick way to get the heart rate up.  Then I moved on to the treadmill for 40 minutes. As I am walking away and watching Trudeau on the TV I notice ladies double my age running a few units away.  WOW, how far low have I gone.  I am barely keeping up a pace of 2.5.  Oye Vey.  This was my first day and I kept reminding myself, I am just starting, I am just beginning, push till it hurts and keep pushing,  I am a work in progress.  Rome was not built in a day.  I was proud f myself for working out a hour in total on my first day.  I left feeling as if I had done something to reach my goal.

The second day was odd.  This no food low calorie liver diet is catching up to me again.  In the morning I was so weak.  I had a Opti shake and we went shopping to get some deals.  As we are walking around the store I could hardly keep my balance or focus on anything, thoughts.  I left my husband in the electrics section and said I was going to Winners to use the bathroom.  I splashed some water on my face and bought some water.  After a hour of more walking around stores I felt better.   Every morning is like this though.  I need to start getting up a bit sooner to give myself a cushion to pull myself together.

We went out to eat for the first time since I started opti fast.  I picked out a tuna mango salad.  I asked them not to add the avocados.  I know avocados have good fat but it is a lot of calories. I picked out the tuna and the tortilla strips.  I had left a lettuce, mango, onion, red pepper and ginger salad dressing.  It was still good and it was nice to be out, feel human again.  Hubs had a burger and poutine fries.  It did not even bother me.  I did not have a single urge to reach over and grab a fry.

We went to Bulk Barn after to pick up some sweets for my daughter.  In the beginning of Optifast I pretty much got rid of all sweets and anything tempting.  I am past that now and it is a great feeling to not have food calling me.

Later in that evening I went to the gym again.  Two days in a row.  I am so proud of myself.  I did not work out a hour but 45 minutes of solid movement.  I was tired and could not stop yawning on the treadmill.  It was embarrassing but I worked through it.

I have to remind myself all the time.  My weight will stall, I will be tired, I will have days I will feel like I am getting no where, I will have days that I feel like a failure.  I did not build this large body in a day, week or month.  It will not come off fast either.  Do not lose faith and hope.

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